3 April 2010

How I would survive a Zombie Attack

*This post is inspired from Memoirs of a Teh Tarik Blogger. (click on it you bastards to raise his hits!!) *

Be warned. This is a super geek post.
Its no secret that I really really love killing zombies.

My bible for surviving a zombie attack comes from many many hours I've invested into the Left4Dead series, a zombie spree killing game. It always successfully makes me feel like RamBo. Mwaahahahhahaahah!! DIE ZOMBIE SCUM!!! BANG BANG BANG!!!

Ooops. okay back to the topic of my post.

Guide on How I Will Survive a Zombie Attack

First: always sacrifice your team mates.

Oops again!! I mean, always work together with you team mates *ahem*.

Get a group of people and make sure all of you are physically fit. Like they say in Zombieland, always stay in shape to survive!!

Secondly: pick your weapons.

This part is gonna bore to death those of you who don't really like guns.

My weapon of choice would definitely be either:

a) Sub-machine Gun

Medium range weapon, 16shots/second.


b) Assault Rifle (a.k.a. M-16)

Medium range weapon, 11 shots/second.

but 5 times more effective than the submachine gun!

Then again I like these two guns coz I don't like my zombies getting too close to me. I prefer shooting them from very far away!!

Third: Set things on fire or bomb them up whenever you can.

I always have the lowest kills on Left4dead.

But then again I'm always listed using the most bombs out of the whole group.

Ok so maybe sometimes Sha,Suwen, Suyoong, and JoJo can testify my aim with bombs doesn't always have the highest accuracy level but hey!! It beats shooting down those suckers one by one!!

Molotov Cocktail (Burst into flames as soon as you throw it)

Pipe Bomb (Emitts a beeping noise that attracts the undead, then explodes in their faces!!)

Fourthly: always have one melee weapon with you at all times. Bullets don't last forever.

My favourite is the Katana


How I love thee!! You slay thy enemies spraying blood all over my computer screen.

What's not to love ♥

Fifthly: Don't underestimate your zombies..

Sure. They walk slow. Their dumb-witted. Half the time you see them emo-ing in a corner banging their heads against the wall.

But whoah. When they see you they'll sprint at you like tigers who haven't seen a juicy steak in a hundred years. And then you hit panic gear and randomly waste precious bullets.

So chill. Ambush them, and always be wary of your surroundings. That's what teamwork is for dude!! Stay together to survive!!

Now we come to the possible FAQ section. I say "possible" because I can't be bothered to wait for my tiny amount of readers to reply to my post and ask me questions.

I will try my best to answer as much as I can. Doozo yoroshiku.

Question #1: What if my best friend got bitten???
- Then you no longer have a best friend. Say all you need to say, tie your bestie to a chair/lampost/any other immovable object/ then when he or she starts to turn green and grow fangs now would be a good time to shoot.

Question #2: Shouldn't I look for an antidote????
- How many zombie movies have you watched that actually gives you the antidote!!!???

Question #3: What if I dont' have guns/knives/bombs?
- Be resourceful. Hell yeah, L4d had taught us that even the mighty frying pan can be a useful weapon!!! Just have to whack 'em harder a coupla of times.

Question #4: What if my zombie was japanese?
- LUCKY YOU!!! They will waste a lot of time bowing before they actually bite you! GRab this opportunity!

Question #5: Where should I hide?
- Hiding is for losers. Unless its at night at you need to catch some shut eye. I guess the best place would be to stay on a floating contraption in the middle of a lake or where the water's deep. Thank God zombies can't swim!!

-And I guess its a good time to brush up on those carpentry skills you never knew you had in you and built a tree house. Or sleep in a tree.

Question #6: Will I ever find the love of my life now that everyone is a zombie?
- Unless you want to mate with a zombie why the hell are you thinking about this question when there is a massive outbreak??

-You know what can cheer you up? Go find your ex -husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend or enemy whom you've strongly hated. There's a 90% chance they are already zombified coz they haven't read this post. So shoot all you want!

Question #7: What happens after the zombie apocalypse is over?
-Dare I say it? The world is your oyster :D Look for survivors and start a new Republic!!

Ok end of FAQ questions.

This marks the end of my ZombieAttack Manual as well which I know, is a redundant piece of work. To conclude it off here are some awesome zombie pics. Enjoy!





  1. Lucky never read your Blog after a full meal lols =P!

    My fave:
    Question #4: What if my zombie was japanese?


  2. lol.. too much L4D? =P

  3. nice to see you are prepared for a zombie infestation. though, why is there no mention of pea shooting plants on the lawn?

  4. thanks y'all :D zombies shud remain dead ne?